38

I don’t know if I ate too much steamed bun or sweat too much. Anyway, when I was in the army, I often had constipation.

It happened that there was a top student in our group who graduated from the Chinese Medicine University, so he taught me a lot of local methods. For example, constipation, just take a three-pronged shot on the Tianling Cover.

So the next morning, I heard a group of people squatting in the pit and patting their sky covers desperately.

I took more than 300 shots, but the shit didn't come out, and the sky spirit cover was about to break.

I thought I was the most powerful, but I found that I really underestimated our group. On the third day, I just got up and was about to go to the bathroom when I heard a roar coming out.

I was shocked and thought that the toilet was eating people, so I washed someone into the sewer.

Unexpectedly, the monk was squatting in the toilet. What's even more terrifying was that he had half a brick in his hand.

The monk looked at me blankly and said to me: "I am constipated, so what's wrong with practicing the iron-headed qigong?"

Nothing, you keep going, thinking I haven't been here.

39

A week after the training began, the convenience store was set up. Because the troops did not allow private use of mobile phones, they could only rely on the landline phone of the convenience store to make calls.

As soon as the speech bar was opened, various sad scenes were staged. As soon as the speech bar was in, you could see the recruits who were full of tears and telling the situation at home, and many of them were already in tears.

I am no exception. I want to contact my home and tell them the story here as soon as possible.

But my situation is different from everyone else. I don’t have tears, nor my eyes, nor my feelings of sadness, pain and happiness.

Because my phone... wasn't connected at all!!!

40

I called my own home, and there was only beeping sounds on the phone. I had no choice but to call my grandma's house, but it turned out to beeping, and so on. No one answered the phone, including my grandmother's house, my aunt's house, or even my uncle's house.

Finally, I had no choice but to ask the captain, took my phone back, copied my parents' mobile phone number from above and called. Unfortunately, the phone still did not connect, indicating that the phone number you called was turned off.

I contacted my parents when my recruit camp was about to end, and then I knew the truth and shed tears.

As soon as I left, the two of them took a long vacation and then signed up for a two-month trip to Europe with their whole family.

All of our family, except me, went to Europe for two months! And they were on a luxury cruise!

After that day, I began to look for my ‘bird parents’.

41

Many people may be very interested in monks after reading my book, so I will analyze this character more deeply.

When I first arrived at Team 5, the captain looked at me with a look of no hope, because I could drag the team at a weight of 3,000 meters at any time.

But when the captain found the monk, he was so happy that he seemed to have found his son who had been missing for many years. But within two days, the captain's expression became, and he finally found his son, but unfortunately he was mentally retarded.

Why did this change happen? Because the monk's 3,000 meters was not fast at all. He only barely passed the exam on the day of his practice.

The monk is very strong, but he has severely lacks explosive power. It is okay to let him run ten kilometers, and it is okay to run three kilometers with a weight of 20 kilograms, but it is impossible to let him run three kilometers fast.

After discovering this problem, the captain looked at me even more resentful!

42

In addition to the lack of explosive power, the monk also has another problem, that is, his slowness.

In addition to me, he suffered the most injuries.

I remember one morning jog, the guy at the top fell down on his shoelaces. Because the incident suddenly happened, everyone jumped over the other person's body in surprise. There was only the monk, and there was no place to find someone lying. Without saying a word, he stepped on it.

The guy screamed in pain, which made the monk realize that there was someone under his feet. Then he panicked and fell directly on the other party as his foot slipped.

Maybe you will ask me, have I discovered it? Let me tell you, I am behind the monk in the queue, so how can I not find it? But discovering it does not mean that I can hide it.

There were three victims in this stampede. The first one was the buddy lying on the ground. The second one was the monk. The third one was me who unfortunately failed to escape and fell directly on the two of them.

When the ambulance drove into our fifth team again, the monk and I watched the warrior leave with a deep heart. By the way, one of the monks and I tied a white cloth on the head, looking like a filial son’s grave.

43

The ambulance drove towards our team five time and time again, which made our captain feel disgusted as if he had eaten a fly.

The captain said that since the establishment of this brigade, all the ambulances came together, and the total number of times I came here was not as good as that of me for two months.

This directly led to the captain watching me leave while beating drums and drums.

Well, I still believe that he can't bear to leave me!

44

Since the Tianling Gai incident, there has been an additional doctor in our dormitory. Let’s talk about the story of the doctor, the folk remedy taught us is more than just the folk remedy of the Tianling Gai. Once I couldn’t stop hiccups, he taught me another folk remedy, which is to pinch the tips of the middle finger to cure hiccups.

I don’t know if there is any problem with folk remedies, but there is a problem with the person who pinched me, because the person who pinched me was... a monk.

I often think that this elder brother should not be called a monk, but Lu Zhishen. This elder brother can throw 140 meters of bombs and is the champion of military competitions.

He came to help me pinch my fingers, and when I went down, I felt like someone was holding a vise pliers and my fingertips.

That night I had a dream, dreaming that I was in hell, and a nigger took the red-burned pliers and pulled my fingernails.

45

Let us forget the unpleasant things before, let me tell you some common sense in the army.

What is your first impression of the troops? Are they square quilts? But I tell you that not every unit has a square quilt. For example, the ones stacked on the warship are the internal affairs of the sailors, and the internal affairs of the sailors are the quilts spread flat on the bed with mats and sheets on it, which are very flat.

This was my internal affairs when I first boarded the warship, but it didn't last long, and our captain asked us to change it back to the quilt.

According to him, it was because when he was on the warship to inspect, he saw a fat man's bed. On the mat in the middle of the bed, there was a very clear human figure. Just like the scene of the murder, it was really too hindering the impression.

I will never tell you that the bed is mine.
Chapter completed!