After that incident that day, my wife almost broke up with me. She told me that she really can't afford to lose face.

In this life, people can meet many different people in this world. But I may be the only one who can pull down the entire iron pipe on the subway.

It didn't count if I pulled it down, but I licked my pussy face and told everyone that I wanted to dance pole dance.

You are shameless, have you ever considered me shameless?

I was so upset when I heard this. Shouldn't you applaud my wit?

Otherwise, I would say to everyone that I wouldn’t perform pole dancing, would I perform Sun Wukong?

...

After the New Year, I will return to the army soon, so I have to hurry up and stay at home.

At that time, I could still contact Xiaodong and the others occasionally, so they asked me: "Can you be slept at home?"

I was speechless. My feet were broken. What do you think of me? I climbed out to wave on my back?

Xiaodong thought about it and said to me after he said, "Fatty, you really came up with a good idea. In this way, you can not only waste your time, but also lose weight."

I was speechless.

But when it comes to Lang, Dafang told me that if he dies, he will not plan to write an epitaph or have a tombstone. He will scatter all his ashes into the sea.

I was stunned. When did this person become an environmentalist?

As a result, Big Face continued to say to me: "I'm not going to be an environmentalist, but I hope I can continue to roam after I die."

Haha, I have too high expectations for you.

I don’t have that high demands on myself. I can’t care whether I’m going to be stormed or not after I die.

My only thought was that when I was old and lying on the hospital bed, I could stand a sign next to me saying, "He is OK, please sit up and move yourself!"

...

After I stayed at home for three months, I discovered that the most terrifying creature in the world was a cat.

Because no matter whether you have money or not, whether you are doing well or not, it looks at you with disdain and contempt.

I have said before that the IQ of a mouse is equivalent to six years old. My father fought with the mouse for a month, but there was no result.

At this time, you must believe in a problem. If a mouse is 6 years old, then the cat is at least ten years old, because the cat can catch the mouse.

If a cat has an IQ of ten years old or even over ten years old, its learning ability may reach the level of a junior high school student. To be honest, that is a very terrible thing.

For example, at that time, I discovered our cat. I watched me turn my hands out every day. That kind of look seemed to be learning something.

I was so scared at that time. I wondered if it learned how to turn the door handle and open the door?

So I discussed it with my parents, and my parents also thought it might be a terrible thing.

So my father decided to check with me online if there are any related examples.

Unexpectedly, I found it.

A netizen online said that his cat watched him turn the door handle every day to go out. Then in order to prevent his cat from learning this trick, he decided to play a set of "Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms" before turning the door handle every time he turned the door handle.

Then his cat didn't learn such complicated movements, so it gave up turning the door handle and opened the door.

Our family thinks this idea is very good, and it was decided by our family of three that they will do the eighth set of radio gymnastics before going out. And each of us does different things. For example, what I do is jumping, what my mother does is tidy exercise, and what my father does is stretching exercise.

When the door was opened, the three of us stood in front of the door and each was doing our own radio gymnastics, just as we were complacent about our IQ.

I saw our cat looking at the three of us with the mentally retarded eyes, then slowly walked over and jumped onto the door handle, opened the door and went out on his own.

Then three idiots who were still doing radio gymnastics in front of the door were left behind, messy in front of the door.

...

Let me tell you, after I came back from the army, I was assigned to work in a state-owned enterprise. The salary was not high, but it was only five or six thousand yuan anyway, but this job was very leisurely.

I am still very satisfied with this job. The only problem is that it is a little far from my house, so I have to take the subway to get to work.

Once, when I was taking the subway, I happened to meet my mother, so my mother said to me: "I'm still looking at my phone when I take the subway, so my eyes will be blind sooner or later."

So my mother decided to help me change the habit of always looking at my phone.

And how to change this habit? My mother finally decided to get a bicycle and let me ride it to work, so that I can't see my phone anymore.

To be honest, I don’t know if I don’t ride it. I was shocked when I really got on a bicycle by myself, but I realized that the benefits of riding a bicycle are far more than just quitting my phone.

After only riding a bicycle for one month, I found that my cardiopulmonary function has been greatly improved. After all, you are still quite tired if you have to ride an hour and a half a day.

In addition to this, the time I spend on the road every day has been reduced a lot. It originally took more than two hours, but now it only takes one and a half hours.

In addition, I ride a bicycle every day, and I find that my legs have become longer and thinner. I didn’t expect that riding a bicycle will also have many benefits for body shape.

Since I got to and from get off work on my bike, I haven't gone out to wander anymore. Anyone who told me to go to the bar, ktv, or sing, I won't go because after riding for 45 minutes, I didn't have the energy to go out to wander anymore.

After not going out to roam, I found that my monthly pocket money has changed from being short-suffered to being a country. I can use whatever money I want to spend on playing games.

Of course, there is the most important point. In the past, my mother told me to go to bed early every day and not stay up late. I never listened because I was a hundred times more energetic at night.

Since I rode a bicycle, I wanted to sleep as soon as I got home, and after dinner, I wanted to sleep. I had no other strength at all, but I could wake up very early in the morning.

When I woke up early in the morning, I found that my winning rate of games has also become much higher. Maybe I just woke up and my mind was clear, while those people all stayed up all night and were dizzy.

There is no need to go to the gym or spend this spare money. Anyway, there are still many benefits to riding this bicycle.

But a month later, my mother tried her best to dissuade me and told me not to ride a bicycle anymore, and asked me to continue taking the subway.

I was very confused and said to my mother, "So many benefits, why did you still let me squeeze into the subway?"

My mother looked at me with a tangled look on her face: "Good son, you broke three bicycles a month, and there are no bicycles for you to ride in our family."

So losing weight is really a job that is costly and costly.
Chapter completed!