When our ship left the north shore and headed south, it started to rain. ()    |   (8)bsp;O   M

The winter rain is cold even in Jiangnan. I sat in the cabin. Even though Su Su saw that my face changed drastically, she kept carefully holding me halfway, but still couldn't suppress my trembling slightly.

When the boat landed, it was already a little late. The whole world was covered with a silver-gray rain curtain, which seemed depressed and low. Susu and Gu Ping didn't speak any further along the way. Both of them carefully supported me. As soon as they walked up the steps of the dock, they saw a carriage parked there, a white figure standing beside the carriage, holding an umbrella.

As soon as he saw me, he immediately walked over: "Qingying."

I raised my head in a hurry, and saw the familiar and gentle face. Pei Yuanxiu seemed to immediately see my strange appearance, frowned slightly and said, "What's wrong with you? Your face is so ugly?"

“…”

I didn't say anything, I couldn't speak, I just looked at him like that.

He also looked at me for a while, but did not ask again, but reached out to take me from Susu's arms: "Let's go back first."

I was carried by him into the carriage. He still held me in the carriage. He listened to the wheels rolling along the way and soon returned home. When he took me back to his room with an umbrella and just walked onto the corridor, I didn't look back, and only my voice trembled slightly, "You don't have to send me, I'll go back alone."

"Qingying." His voice rang behind his back: "Aren't you going to tell me what you gave birth to today?"

“…”

"My bride is so unhappy, can't I know the reason?"

“…”

I stood by the corridor, and could even feel the drizzle that was misty and the coolness brought by the falling face. I slowly turned around and saw him standing behind me with an umbrella, with a gentle and firm look: "Don't you come and tell me what happened, and you will be the first to let me know about any pain?"

I was stared at by such gentle eyes, but I felt it hurt.

The pain made me almost cry.

When I spoke, my voice was broken: "Do you really want to marry me?"

His eyes stern: "What?"

"Don't marry me."

"Qingying!"

"No one who is close to me will end up with a good end."

"Qingying!"

"I am an ominous person, and I will bring disaster to those around me."

His eyes suddenly gathered, and his eyes looked at me with dark eyes: "What are you talking nonsense!"

"I didn't talk nonsense."

The hot tears finally fell down and I could hardly stand. When Pei Yuanxiu saw that I was so fragile that I was about to fall, he immediately threw away the umbrella in his hand and hugged me.

I trembled violently in his arms, tears gushed out like beads with broken threads, and said with a sob: "I didn't say nonsense. I was hurting them, and I would also harm you."

"Qingying!"

It's my fault, it's all mine.

If it weren't for me, Qinghan wouldn't have lit the fire in Jixian Hall. If it weren't for that fire, he wouldn't have been injured, and he wouldn't have been hit by the pillar in the head and lost his memory... And Chang Qing wouldn't have lost her child!

I just remembered that when she was just pregnant, she said that there was signs of food and injury in her destiny. In order to protect the fetus in her abdomen, there were no large-scale sacrificial celebrations in the palace, especially fireworks. But when she saw that fire, she heard the guards report that I might be in Jixian Hall, and suddenly had abdominal pain. But even at that time, she kept asking people to put out the fire and confirm whether I was inside. By the time the imperial doctor came, she could no longer save it!

My eyes were blurred by tears, and in the mist, I could also see the white snow in front of Jixian Palace. She fell into the snow and was covered in blood red under her body!

No wonder, no wonder when I first learned that she was pregnant, I saw the cluster of red maple leaves in Yihua Palace. I felt like a ball of fire, so uneasy...

It turns out that everything has been decided long ago.

I was the one who harmed her!

besides……

And light cold!

When I think of the four cursed words in Fu Badai's mouth, I just feel that my heart has been hollowed out, and the man who emptied my heart no longer remembers me!

He forgot me!

He forgot me!

Seeing me crying in his arms, listening to my choked confession, Pei Yuanxiu remained silent until I finished speaking, and he held me hard in his arms. The power of his arms almost suffocated me, but he could feel the ups and downs and warmth of his chest, and his gentle voice sounded above his head-

"That's not your fault."

“…”

"You're not wrong."

“…”

"Qingying, you are kind, but you can't blame yourself for everything."

“…”

"You cannot bear the consequences caused by what others do for you, because people are human beings, not Buddhas, and it is impossible for them to have original sins. If you have to find the roots of everything like this, there are all sinners in this world, and no one should not die."

“…”

"Only when a man dies can he completely eliminate such sins."

“…”

"But if you die, I will feel heartbroken. Isn't this your sin?"

His words seemed to wake me up. I gently raised my head in his arms, looked into his eyes, and heard him say, "You are also hurting me if you reject me. Isn't this your sin again?"

“…”

This time, I finally couldn't speak and just looked at him with tears.

Although he didn't say anything, he could feel that my breath was not as desperate and helpless as before, but he was still mourning. He simply picked me up, carried me back into the house, and placed it carefully on the bed.

The room was very warm, and the confrontation with the coolness brought from the rain made me tremble. He carefully pulled the quilt and covered me with it, and said softly: "Don't think too much, have a good sleep. You are too sad now, so you will think about everything."

He was right, I was really sad.

I curled up in the quilt and nodded gently. He reached out and stroked my cheek, brushed away the silk, and said softly: "Sleep for a night, wake up and talk. I will be with you."

"……Um."

In his gentle gaze, I closed my eyes.

Even in the dream, I could feel his gentle gaze. It seemed that this gaze dispelled the horrors in my dreams. Although there were so many chaotic scenes in the dream, I slowly calmed down. When I woke up, I felt much more relaxed.

And when he turned his head, he still met that kind of gaze.

Pei Yuanxiu sat at the head of the bed, lowered his head and looked at me gently: "You are awake."

I looked at him vaguely for a while and murmured, "You've been here all the time?"

"I'm afraid you have nightmares."

He said, holding me up and leaning against the head of the bed. I didn't know how long I had been sleeping. Although I was calm, my body was a little soft. He turned around and brought a cup of hot tea to my mouth, so that I could drink it. I felt a little more comfortable.

"Are you better?"

I nodded gently.

Indeed, I was too sad and a little bit stubborn. In the past, when I was about to marry Qinghan, the villagers said that I was filthy. I also knew that I was just a victim and should not be cut into pieces because of my injury. This time it was the same. I should not have been loved or cared for, so I would have piled up all the accidents on my head.

only--

When I thought of Chang Qing’s miscarriage, my heart was still very painful. After experiencing such pain, I knew better that this would hit a woman, and I was not by her side. I don’t know how she would have to survive that period and how painful she was.

When I think of this, even if I have figured it out, the pain in my heart is still unavoidable.

Another thing that makes me feel uneasy is that Wen Fengxi seems to have revealed a message-

In addition to the emperor, the emperor's father-in-law was the most angry.

There were speculations from both sides of the court that this fire was released lightly and coldly.

Therefore, when Qinghan and Wen Fengxi went south this time, Pei Yuanhao was under a lot of pressure. I also understood where they came from.

I was thinking in a daze, and reached out with one hand and gently rubbed my eyebrows. As soon as I raised my eyes, I saw Pei Yuanxiu looking at me and said softly: "I said it, don't frown."

“…”

"No matter how miserable those things are, they are already in the past. No matter how sad you are, it will be in vain."

“…”

"What's more, that's someone else's life."

I stared at him in a daze, and saw him holding my hand and put it on his lips and kissing it gently, saying, "What you want to think about now is your own life. The biggest thing in your life is to marry me. Shouldn't you put more thoughts on me?"

“…”

"Those things have passed."

I was silent for a while, but after all, I didn't say anything, just nodded.

.

Pei Yuanxiu's words also make some sense.
To be continued...