01     Yan Ling: Flirting with (2009-01-23    21:06:33)

Today, you have been away for more than 120 hours, and it is time to complain. After all, the baby is still a normal person and has not reached any supernatural level. And he grew up under the care of his childhood. This is the first time he tried such a bitterness. I admit that I never want to have a second attempt like this. I won’t think that it’s someone else in my mind, and even ignore myself.

Looking at the sporadic things, the last few private cars picked up their own treasures and saw that they were lonely and seemed to have been abandoned. The aunt's questions downstairs made me feel like I was living in vain, and no one knew that even if I died.

At the New Year's Eve dinner at the school, I saw a lot of people who had not been missing for a long time, and they also spoke, but now, I am still alone. I have no reason to lose my temper or get upset with anyone. Everything is my own decision, and I have to swallow any fruit myself.

It would be great if I was really abandoned, there would be no so many complaints or fantasies.

Tomorrow, my parents are coming, and the northwest wind is blowing. It’s time for me to go out early in the morning. In the cold wind, I accompany them to travel around Shanghai. I don’t know what it feels like.

Suddenly I thought about whether I should continue to maintain the treasure that I was spoiled by, or learn to get out of such care and be self-reliant. I think it should be the latter. I have gradually escaped from my parents' protection. This feeling was something I had when I started my sophomore year. I had to support my weak and slender legs strongly, and had to flap my wings with my woven molten feathers. I had to be completely responsible for my behavior. There were so many helplessness and sorrow that no one could understand the sharing. I would grow up. At this moment, I realized it and was full of confidence.

Such loneliness, haha, is still beneficial. It has made me realize so much. In just a few hours just now, I understood a lot, which I didn’t think about before. Maybe, in the future, I will deliberately hone myself like this. Such a small loneliness and setbacks are not considered. I am so impatient. Thanks to this opportunity, I have one step closer to becoming a butterfly.

The complaints are almost done. I face tomorrow with an optimistic mood. Perhaps, in reality, I have to learn to hide my mood. Just to be more straightforward, I am learning to be hypocritical.

02     Yan Ling: Write a secretly (2009-01-24    19:30:03)

Mom and dad were hiding around below, and the baby looked nervous and hurriedly wrote on the bed, haha, quickly writing secretly.

My parents touched the school by themselves today. They were haggard, and they felt distressed when they saw the baby. Grandma, lying in the hospital, could no longer move, could not speak, could not eat or drink, I felt heartbroken and worried about seeing it with my own eyes. Thinking of the Spring Festival every year, Grandma would give me the unique New Year's money she had to hand, and she said something to me over and over again. I don't want to think about it anymore. Thinking about the past makes me sad. I have to think about the future, with you, a happy future, keep the deep love of the past in my heart and bloom beautiful flowers.

The baby and his family should go out to play tomorrow. I haven’t figured out where to go yet. Well, the family is always happy and talks a lot. I hope to spend such a sad period peacefully.

Today, my brother has been away from school for more than 148 hours.

03     Yan Ling: Written on New Year’s Eve (2009-01-25    19:50:02)

Today is the last day of the Year of the Rat, and it’s really unimaginable that my parents are sitting around in school.

Today is also 172 hours away from you.

Yes, come back later.

Well, it's eleven o'clock now, and it's back again.

The Spring Festival is about to be celebrated. This is my first Spring Festival with you. Our love is just two years old. OK. The baby is watching TV. Brother, please be careful, the baby is sensing it.

04     Yan Ling: Write another one secretly (2009-01-26    18:45:36)

At my brother's house, show my face and leave, otherwise...

05     Yan Ling: Diary (2009-01-30    09:32:58)

I got up early and wrote it, but I didn’t want to write it at night. I haven’t written it for a long time. Most of the reason is that someone makes people angry. When I woke up this morning, I especially wanted to vent my feelings.

I have been away from you for countless hours. Your appearance can appear in my dreams every day. I can no longer imagine your daily life. I don’t know what you feel about me. Are you feeling weak? I am so scared.

This year, people are very confused and heartbroken. I don’t know what I want.

Let it go, be strong.

I don't know what you are doing, I don't know if I saw the text message when I woke up in the morning, or I deliberately pretended not to see it, and then I continued to sleep

I always ask the baby to accompany me, but I feel unhappy when I hear it. I want it. It’s unrealistic, but the baby will believe it. I have said this many times. The baby will be so happy every time, but with the loss, don’t say it again, okay

At noon today, I am about to go out again, and what I see will be impermanent things. This year, it is so chaotic.

My parents have become interested in letting me go abroad. Maybe they listen to others everywhere about how good it is to go abroad. If it were in the past, it was too late to be happy. Now, my heart is heavy. Who knows, the future is very vague, and every road is full of hope. Since God has let me meet you, he has already chosen a road for me.

06     Yan Ling: Diary (2009-01-31    11:57:16)

I sighed that there have been a little more in the past two days, perhaps because the day of meeting is getting closer.

Yesterday, I looked at you again and looked at you. My thoughts suddenly returned to a long time ago. This person, at first sight, I wanted to be nice to him, to accompany him by his side, and to make him laugh happily. Is it you? Let me say something! In the blink of an eye, we have experienced many ups and downs together. The future is broadly displayed in front of us. The uncertainty of the future makes me afraid, afraid of losing you, and afraid that you don’t want me anymore. Inexplicably, there is always such worry, not that you no longer love me, but that I am afraid of myself. The arrogant I can’t control my temper and joys and anger. Although many have changed over the years, there is still a long way to go before me as I imagined. Can you wait until that time?

This year during the Spring Festival, I saw a lot of things and felt that time flies, the world is impermanent, and the helplessness of life. I am still me, standing in this world, fewer and fewer people protecting me, so I am afraid that there will be no you, so I will walk alone.

I was very happy to see you who said you would snatch me up, but I just like such a man. I hope you don’t let me down.
Chapter completed!