【tired.】

Xu Feiling slowly opened his eyes and reached out to press the constant ringing alarm clock. The annoying beep finally disappeared.

But she actually wanted to throw the alarm clock even more.

She sat up and was stunned when she was in a daze, not knowing what she was thinking.

After a while, she came to her senses and got out of bed and went to the bathroom to wash.

The girl's delicate eyebrows and eyes are reflected in the clean and transparent mirror, the beautiful pink lips, the two dimples that will appear after smiling, as well as the soft black hair that is like a waterfall, and the deep pure black eyes.

All those who know Xu Feiling say that if the famous school beauty of No. 1 Middle School is willing to go to the entertainment industry, even if she has no acting skills and ability, she will definitely make a big hit with her naked face alone.

Xu Feiling once looked forward to the lives of those celebrities when she was young and innocent, but now she knows that it is impossible for her to be a celebrity.

It is one of the reasons that the star actors think they are just traditional parents who are actors. More importantly, Xu Feiling now knows that some things are unfathomable and unknown darkness under their bright and beautiful appearance.

Xu Feiling went into the kitchen again to prepare breakfast for his younger brother, sister and himself.

The Xu family's parents worked outside the city, and their grandfathers had already passed away. There were only Xu Feiling and her younger brothers and sisters in this family.

After quietly eating breakfast, Xu Feiling carried his schoolbag and went out to school.

On the way to school, she happened to meet a few classmates she knew, and everyone greeted her enthusiastically, while Xu Feiling also smiled politely.

The school was not far from her home. After about seven or eight minutes of walking, Xu Feiling saw the school gate.

When you walk into the school, you can still hear the vague sound of reading aloud.

Xu Feiling entered his class and greeted several classmates who had arrived early. He found a seat to sit down, took out the textbook from his schoolbag and started reviewing and previewing.

It was vaguely, she could hear three girls whispering to her not far away:

"Xu Feiling is really working hard..." The girl's voice was filled with envy.

"Yes, yes, a good-looking person, gentle personality, versatile, and good grades. He is simply not a human being!"

"I am a top student, how can we compete with her?" Although this sentence is full of sourness, there is no malice.

"Oh, I heard from my class teacher last week that Xu Feiling is the first in the midterm exam this time, or the first in the grade..."

"Sure enough! Xu Feiling has always been the first place since the first year of high school!"

"If it were me, as long as I could give me the top 100 in the next grade, my mother would have to be so happy..."

At this time, Xu Feiling, who was thought to be reading books seriously, heard others' comments and was rarely distracted.

She held her cheeks, her eyes were hanging down, and the soft smile that often hanged on the corners of her mouth finally disappeared when everyone was not paying attention.

Gentle personality?

Because when she was a child, her grandmother taught her to be well-educated and gentle and ladylike, she had been wearing this mask for more than ten years and could not take it off.

God knows that she also wants to laugh and make fun of herself like everyone else, and vent her best youth.

But no, she is [Xu Feize], the most perfect [Xu Feize].

Everything she has to do is the best.

Even if she is angry, sad, and even if she is so sad that she wishes she can die, she has to smile this way and care about others considerately.

Because she is Xu Feiling, who is [gentle], [kind] and [good temper].

Excellent results?

Ah, since she became sensible, her strict grandfather taught her to learn literacy step by step, making her far better than her peers.

But she always remembered that when she was in the third grade of elementary school, she was careless about not getting first in the first exam and ranked second in the first major exam.

At that time, my grandfather didn't say anything, didn't scold her or beat her, and of course she didn't encourage her to work harder next time, but Xu Feiling felt that this calmness was tantamount to the most terrifying punishment, which made her extremely panic.

She didn't want to let her grandfather down again.

So Xu Feiling studied more seriously, squeezed all his time, and even learned the knowledge of the senior grade in advance, in order to be the first forever.

She is [Xu Feiling], the always excellent Xu Feiling.

And versatile...

Because my grandmother used to be a pillar of a choir, Xu Feiling has been practicing voice with her grandmother since she was a child. In addition, her voice and musical sense are very good, which makes her at a young age no less than a professional singer.

There are also calligraphy and Chinese paintings learned from my grandfather. After ten years of practice, they are far superior to most of their peers and even adults.

Because of her [versatile], from elementary school to junior high school, and now, she is indispensable in all talent competitions or other activities that she can participate in.

She is responsible for the blackboard newspapers in the class, big and small activities.

but……

【So tired…】

Xu Feiling himself did not realize that since she was a child, she had really little time to belong to her, and she had never even done what she really did for herself.

She strives to tolerate others and takes care of everyone's emotions for others. She studies hard to prevent her grandfather and classmates and teachers from disappointing her. She is not interested in learning those talents.

Of course, I feel tired if I keep doing what I don’t like.

The expectations that belong to others have been pressing on Xu Feiling.

Why do I have to study so hard? Xu Feiling asked.

That's for your own future. Grandfather replied.

Why do I have to participate in those events and competitions? Xu Feiling asked.

You want to bring honor to the class and the school. The teacher replied.

Why do I have to take care of my younger brother and sister? Xu Feiling asked.

Because you are your sister. The father and mother replied.

Why... Why do I have to become excellent? Xu Feiling asked.

Because you are Xu Feiling, everyone answered.

Because you are [Xu Feiling].

A person who is always excellent and perfect must always be excellent and perfect after everyone gets used to it.

Too many expectations. From grandparents, from teachers and classmates, from parents, siblings... [Expectations].

Only if you are always outstanding can you be [Xu Feiling].

But... I'm so tired.

A little Xu Feiling sobbed deep in his heart.

I'm so tired. I don't want to study so hard, I just can't get the first place.

I'm so tired. I don't want to participate in those activities. I want to go out with my classmates.

I'm so tired. I don't want to laugh so hypocritically. I want to cry and make a fuss like my sister.

I'm so tired...

Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why?

Why are everyone so happy, but I... but I can't get happiness at all?

These words, [Xu Feiling] cannot hear them.

Expectations - those heavy expectations pressed on Xu Feiling, and bound her to the deep sea without seeing the light.

You are [Xu Feiling].

She is [Xu Feiling].

I am [Xu Feiling].

This chain is called [Xu Feiling].

Therefore, when the doomsday came, her younger brother and sister did not turn into zombies through the initial choice, but rarely rushed back to take care of their parents and were scratched and infected. When she killed her younger brother and sister before the mutation and committed suicide, Xu Feiling was not sad, but felt that she could finally get rid of it.

However, her parents—who she had not met several times that year—have asked her to survive before committing suicide.

Again [expectation].

Xu Feiling is tired, and she doesn't want to listen to them and try her best to survive.

At this time, the sudden awakening gave her a chance to commit suicide.

In waves of pain, Xu Feiling closed his eyes and waited for death to come.

Sorry, but I'm too tired.

However, because of her powerful mental awakening, even though she was unlucky, she still passed the awakening period safely.

When she opened her eyes, she saw Xu Lingyi and Xu Linger standing respectfully beside the bed.

Forget it. Xu Feiling thought, let's do it.

Let it go and leave it to fate.

It doesn't matter whether it's death or living.
To be continued...