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Is it a dream again? I understand.

Even if you walk out of the past, even if you accept redemption, and even if you try to face my past, sin is still sin, unforgivable, irreversible sin.

The dry bones everywhere, the yellow sand all over the sky, the endless undead in the distance, and the closest are the partners who trust me to follow me. I am Kyle, the human being who once thought he was the most perfect, and the demigod who used the external deceptions who had successfully deceived the whole world.

In the past, I was carrying a serious sin of conceit, proudly believed that I was fearless, selfless, and omnipotent. I was the embodiment of all the beauty in the world and had virtues that could be comparable to God. But the cruel reality defeated my pride and destroyed my conceit, timidity, selfishness, and weakness. Everything I once despised appeared in my heart when facing reality.

It turns out that this is the real me, it turns out that my heart is so dirty.

I became weak again, I was timid again, I became selfish again. I dare not face my behavior, I dare not face such dirtyness, I dare not face my true self. So, I escaped, and escaped with collapse. I **, I fell, I indulged, I tried every means to cover my eyes, if possible, I would even be eager to choose to end my life to escape all this. But unfortunately, she used her last power to give me the same life as that body, close to eternity. Oh, is this punishment? But why did I see sorrow and mercy in your last look back? What are you pitying? Are you pitying that dirty and despicable me?

I am escaping, thinking that timidity, selfishness and weakness are the true self, so I hate, I hate, I hate myself deeply, but I can't do anything, so I can only spend day after day forever. But is that really the real me? Why can't I help others when I encounter difficulties? Why do I always put myself in danger? Is it just because this body will not die no matter what?

What exactly is the real me? Conceited, meaningless, selfless? Or timid, weak, selfish? I really want to know what is the real self?

I can see that my friends are fighting, she is fighting, and I am actually fighting involuntarily. I really want to talk to her again, I really want to hold her hand again, I really want to make up for the sorry that I owe for a hundred years. Why can't I control my body, why can't I just watch silently and can't do anything?

"You finally want to face me." This is Neli's voice? She was looking at me? Everything around me was like a freeze, a long-lost voice, a long-lost look, a long-lost gentleness, I wanted to laugh, but my heart was bleeding: "But, why don't you want to talk to me?"

"I..." I was surprised to find that I could actually control my body and speak.

"Are you...Nelly?" I discovered for the first time that my voice could actually tremble to this point, a trembling voice, a trembling body, a trembling soul.

Neli didn't answer, her clear eyes just looked at me quietly, gentle and quiet, as before.

"No, you're not Neli." I said loudly, my voice no longer trembling, and my lowered head slowly raised.

"So, who am I?" Nellie did not deny it, looking at me with a little mischievous look like before.

"You are just an illusion in my heart." I suddenly understood something, and my tone became more and more firm: "You are the shadow left by Neli in my heart. Fundamentally, you are actually me, you are just a mirror in my heart."

"I'm right." Neli smiled and applauded.

"I finally understand." I felt that my brain had never been so clear, and all the chaos became clear: "This is not her hatred for me, nor is it the punishment of the gods for my sins. The builder of this dream cage is myself, and the imparter of the punishment is also me. This is just the place where I dare not face the storage of the past, this is just my true heart, so I can never escape. How can I escape from myself?"

"It's great, you finally thought of it, I can feel relieved." Neri exhaled softly: "It's true, it's always been so uneasy, Kyle."

"So the only way to really break this cage is to face it, accept it, and make it blend with my heart, so..." I was stunned suddenly, thinking of Neli's words just now, and staring at her blankly: "You, you are not just a shadow, who are you."

"Shh." Neri raised her fingers and put them on her lips: "Time is coming soon, you should wake up. As for who am I? Fool, this is just your dream, I am just your dream, and I am still as stupid as it is."

"Goodbye, Kyle, goodbye, my...love."

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"Hu, Hu, Hu." Panis woke up from his dream as usual, panting and sitting up.

This time, he did not tremble, sweat, but only felt sad from the bottom of his heart. He opened his hands in front of him, and then held them tightly again, wanting to grasp something, but all he could hold was nothingness.

"So, is it just my dream?" Panis smiled self-deprecatingly and sighed softly in a faint voice: "It's really just a dream. How could she be so gentle to someone like me?"

With a "swoosh", a metal bottle flew from behind the head. Panis stretched his hand to the back of his head without looking back, pinching the mouth of the bottle and putting it to his mouth. The cold water quickly poured into his throat, alleviating the thirst caused by the dream. Drinking a bottle of water, Panis raised his head and looked outside from the slight gap between the tree canopy. It was very late, and the outside world was already in the night, and the dense forest was even darker, and only a small bonfire was lit in the camp. Catherine sat by the bonfire wearing chain armor. The goblin lighting device he had bought from the Capital of Knowledge was standing by the bonfire. Once an abnormal situation occurred, the lighting could be turned on at any time, and the brightness was enough to cover the entire camp.

There are only ten people in a group, so the camp is not arranged very much, but the arrangement method is very interesting. It is a special camping method in the dense forest.

Because there is a deciduous leaf layer of more than half a meter deep in the dense forest, it is difficult to quickly clear a clean open space, so professionals who have penetrated deep into the dense forest have summarized a set of camping methods with thousands of years of experience.

The foundation of the camp is more than 30 metal tubes with varying thicknesses and can be stretched and retractable in some parts. These metal tubes have high toughness and will not easily break or deform. If you are a profession with this set of tools, you can assemble these metal tubes by one person. After the assembly is completed, the metal tubes will form a square metal bracket platform about 30 centimeters from the ground and the length and width can be adjusted between five and ten meters. The four top corners of the platform and the center of each side have a thickest metal tube inserted deep into the ground as a fixed support.

On the surface of the grid-shaped metal bracket platform, a layer of metal mesh made of fine and solid thick metal wire is covered with a metal mesh. The edge of the metal mesh is integrated with a bracket lock composed of a metal rod, forming a slightly elastic plane for people to walk, sit and lie on their daily life. A heat-insulated crystal platform that can be fixed with the bottom mesh is placed in the center of the metal mesh. The bonfire burns on the insulation table. The rest of the space can be set up with special locks, or a sleeping bag can be placed directly on the plane to rest.

This special camping equipment is worth 800 to 1,000 gold coins. It is so expensive because it is mainly because it takes into account the load-bearing capacity and the strength of the parts, and the weight of all parts to be convenient to carry. Therefore, some relatively expensive special metals were used. Before leaving in the Santo capital, Pannis insisted on buying it under the gaze of Catherine's enemy who killed his father. In fact, as Pannis said, although such a set of equipment is expensive, it can be used in many harsh places. As long as there is no battle, it can be used for many years. It is not a loss.

"It's your turn to watch out?" Panis stood up and walked lightly to Catherine. The only flaw of this equipment is that the metal mesh is connected. If the action on it is too large, it will cause the metal mesh to resonate and affect other people's rest. Therefore, you must lightly walk when walking on it.

"Yeah." Katherine was doing her second favorite thing - maintaining weapons and armor. Of course, her favorite thing was obviously counting money. Hearing Panis's question, Katherine nodded and whispered: "Why, have a nightmare again?"

"A nightmare?" Panis smiled self-deprecatingly: "Maybe this time is not a nightmare, but overall it is not pleasant."

"Then you should congratulate you." Catherine put down her work, raised her head and showed a gentle smile: "It is a good thing to celebrate even if it is just a little better, right?"

Looking at the tenderness revealed on Catherine's heroic face, Panis felt that he had traveled through time, and seemed to see the woman who held a spear among countless enemies but was always straighter than a spear, and seemed to see the deep tenderness that would only appear inadvertently when facing him. The two knights with no similar appearance but very close temperament seemed to be slowly overlapping in the wrong time and space. The illusion of chaos made him a little confused for a moment.

"Hu, yes, it's worth celebrating." Panis sighed in dismay: "It's all thanks to you, thank you."

"Thank you? Hehe." Catherine said dissatisfiedly: "Do you remember how many times you saved us in the crying cave? Over the past few months, for many of our bad habits and quirks, what did you do tolerate and help us? As a result, when you came to you, you actually said thank you for such a small thing?"

"Okay, it's me that's not good." Panis chuckled and nodded, "Never again."
Chapter completed!