"Dahai, a good man wants to join the army! Listen to us, go join the army!"

"I don't want to go!"

"Oh, go!" My father's voice was very heavy, but he seemed to have made up his mind: "Although it will take several years to join the army, you can have a stable job after all, so you should go!"

"It's not easy to find a job now, and it's even more difficult to find a good job, boy! You'd better go!"

The mother sighed, and although her eyes were a little reluctant, she was very firm: "If you are in the countryside, then there is still a piece of land. Even if you are unpromising, as long as you are willing to do things, you will definitely have some food to eat. But now you are in the city and if you don't have a job in the future..."

"Don't I know how to find a job? Will I starve to death?" I raised my head with some dissatisfaction.

"Then you also need to have an education, have good grades, and have to get into a university to get a good job assignment!"

The father frowned and said, "Look at your own grades. Now you are in your second year of high school, and you have seven subjects. In addition to Chinese and chemistry, you have any other subjects that you can admire? You are following the gangsters in society every day. Can you get into college? Why don't you think about it yourself?"

"But I am only sixteen years old now, and the soldier inspector said that he could not join the army until he was eighteen."

I had no choice but to say the final killer move, hoping to change my parents' minds.

"You don't have to worry about this. Your father has found his old comrade-in-arms who was in the army before. He happened to be the deputy minister of our city's armed forces. He doesn't have to worry about this."

My mother's words are still the same as before. Once she makes up her mind, she will not be able to change even if others oppose it: "In another three to five years, your father should retire. If you come back from the army in accordance with national laws, you can take over his post. Unit XX is our city's personnel unit, and you will have the best ones. You don't have to worry about the rest of your life."

"We can't teach you well. Maybe we can only change you well in the army."

My father took a heavy breath of cigarette, his eyes full of disappointment and sighed: "If you really make progress, just take a military academy for me in the army. Even if you can't get through, I will become a man."

I:"……"

The above scene happened at the end of November 1994. In my bedroom, my life changed significantly. I will irreversibly embark on a road I have never walked before, and also walk a road that others will call me a real man in the future.

I remember that I was very disgusted at that time, but I didn’t really object to being a soldier. But I didn’t like everything being controlled by myself, and I didn’t like what my parents said. My rebellious personality was armed with my teeth at that age. I just wanted to do whatever my teachers and parents didn’t let me do.

Before I was fifteen, I had a good grade, and I was always around ten in the class, and the whole school could enter the top 50. If I were to enter an undergraduate college with this grade, it would be very promising. However, since I first wrote a love letter to a girl in the class at the age of fifteen, my mother went into my room to check my diary without my promise, it must have changed.

From that day on, I became another person. I was no longer a good child. This transformation was really strange. I can't fully remember what the girl I wrote the love letter was like. Of course, she could not have had any contact with my later life. But it was that incident that caused me to resist all my expectations of my parents. Even when I saw that they were disappointed with my depravity in my heart, I actually felt a wonderful pleasure.

Because, for the first time, I felt that my right to survive was violated; because, I felt that my parents did not respect my personal privacy, and for the first time, I felt hatred of their behavior.

But that time I let my mother tell her, but I blushed and didn't say a word. I still don't know why I became another person at the age of sixteen, but I know that since then my psychology has been a little subtle distorted.

When I was sixteen, I did a lot of things.

That year I learned to smoke, use my own living expenses, and use my father's cigarettes. In fact, I felt that it was difficult to smoke at that time, but I felt that smoking was very proud. At least I was wrong with everyone, but what I never expected was that the so-called spirit that I had fallen into it until now and could not extricate myself.

I learned to fight that year. Basically, all the disputes in our school were all my shadow. From a small fried dough stick that followed behind, I stirred up trouble in the end, and beat a boy who bullied a girl in our class to break his ribs, which made the guy escape with the wind whenever he heard my voice in the future.

That year, I also learned to go to society and how to do it? I made trouble in the game hall. More than a dozen people besieged a group of little brothers to get some money to go to the Kala OK hall to sing and dance, drink some wine, and there was no time on the road to find things to do, and whistle to the beautiful girls on the roadside. That was a true portrayal of me. At that time, there was a very fashionable word to describe us, which was called "rogue".

...

Of course, since then, my grades needless to say. Absent from class became synonymous with me, and lying became my most remarks. How did my academic performance plummet? As a university professor, my father entered the Public Security Bureau for the first time in his life, to pick up his son who was arrested for a fight. I saw that night, my father and mother's room was brightly lit all night, and the above scene happened three days later.

I never thought about resisting the above decision. Although I had already embarked on the so-called evil path and became very disobedient, I actually had a certain fear of my parents.

This fear is incredible to many of my friends in society. You should know that they have always been proud of their parents not daring to provoke them, and even followed them, but I acted like an unqualified "rogue".

Actually, when I think about it now, there may be two reasons for being a "rogue" who is not bad.

One reason is that I received education since I was a child. I have lived in the countryside since I was eight years old. Because my father had been working in the city for a long time, I could transfer our family to the city. So my essence is actually quite simple. Besides, my father is a well-educated professor after all, and my mother is a primary school teacher. I have not relaxed my education since I was a child. I am also a scholarly family with no bad "wisdom roots".

One reason is that it was the era of the booming reform and opening up, and the social atmosphere was really chaotic. I remember that there was a time when students in schools were popular to grab belts. Two or three middle school students got a bunch and went to the door of the next primary school or students from the lower classes to grab them.

Because there are too many such things, no one can take care of it, in the end it turns out that it is a kind of honor to grab a belt. The belt on Jinli is so awesome. This trend caused many children to suffer from it at that time. The most impressive one was a senior brother from our school at that time. His grades were always one or two in the class. But he also talked to us about his previous history of grabbing belts or smoking cigarettes. His expression was so awesome. Now, when we think about it, under the admiration of our respectful eyes at that time, I think he must have been very psychologically satisfied.

So to sum up, it’s not that I was so bad at that time, but because I was harmed by the social atmosphere. I can still find information online. This group of people in the 1970s grew up in the tide of reform and opening up, and actually had to bear the remaining poison left by * and be poisoned by various Western cultures. It is really a confused generation.

So based on the above two reasons, although I was unwilling to see my parents making such a great decision, I was actually confused and didn’t know what to do.

Although I was fighting and bragging in front of the girls and bragging about how capable I was, once I really encountered something that I wanted to decide for my life, I had no confidence in my heart. Even if I resisted, my words were so powerless. Under my nature, I didn’t want to do it anymore and let my parents do it. After all, I was their biological child, and it was impossible for me to harm me.
Chapter completed!