Chapter 1821 The inner thoughts between mother and daughter

Early the next morning, the sun was blocked by thick dark clouds, and the sky was gray and a little more depressing.

Jian Ximan changed into a black suit, with light and solemn makeup. She went to Mrs. Jian's favorite flower shop and bought two bouquets of flowers. She then took a taxi to the cemetery.

The car stopped at the entrance of the cemetery, and a drizzle began to fall from the sky.

Tiny raindrops fell on her hair and hit her face. Jian Ximan seemed not to feel it and walked into the cemetery.

The closer we get to the graves of Mrs. Jian and Mr. Jian, the heavier Jian Ximan's footsteps become.

How long has it been since she visited her mother and grandpa?

It seemed like she had never been back since she left Yuncheng.

I don't know if her mother and grandfather will blame her.

As her thoughts flowed, Jian Ximan had already walked to the tombstones of Mrs. Jian and Mr. Jian.

Seeing the two bouquets of flowers and fruits in front of the two tombstones, Jian Ximan was stunned for a moment and looked around subconsciously.

In the cemetery on a rainy day, few people came to pay their respects. Wherever she could see, there was no one.

Not taking this matter to heart anymore, Jian Ximan placed the bouquets in her hands in front of the tombstones of Mr. Jian and Mrs. Jian, and spoke softly.

"Grandpa, Mom, I'm here to see you."

A gust of cool wind blew by, brushing against Jian Ximan's sleeves and blowing the strands of hair around her ears, as if in response to her words.

Jian Ximan pursed her lips, looked at Mrs. Jian's smile and Mr. Jian's kind face on the tombstone, and continued to speak.

"Are you blaming me for not coming to see you all this time? Since you are blaming me, why can't you scold me and blame me in your dreams, even just once?"

For so long, her mother and her grandfather never appeared in her dreams, and they didn't even give her a chance to comfort her. She didn't know whether it was because she didn't miss her, or because she didn't want her to miss them more.

The only sound left in the quiet surroundings was the patter of rain. Jian Ximan calmed down her emotions, exhaled slowly, suddenly showed a faint smile, shrugged, and said in a brisk tone:

"Forget it, you blame me once, I blame you once, it's even."

As she spoke, she sat down between the tombstones of Mrs. Jian and Mr. Jian, took the towel she had prepared early in the morning, and gently wiped the tombstones clean.

"Mom, Grandpa, I bought a small apartment in Kyoto. The house is not big, but it is warm and comfortable enough for me to live alone. After I graduated, I joined a magazine. The job is very good. Don't worry, I will take care of myself.

Very well taken care of.”

She paused and continued:

"Do you still remember Ning Yuxi? She found her lover and recognized her parents. She is no longer the idiot who let others bully her. Is everything getting better?"

Jian Ximan talked ramblingly, wishing to tell Mrs. Jian and Mr. Jian everything that had happened in the past few years.

She wanted Mrs. Jian and Mr. Jian to know that she was doing well even without their protection.

After saying a lot of good things, she stopped what she was doing and turned her head to look at Mrs. Jian's photo.

"Mom, I listened to you, live well and work hard, so I found a good job, bought a house, and... met a special person."

Jian Ximan put down the towel in her hand and looked at the rain curtain in the distance, her eyes dark and sad.

"I really hated him at first. The women around him changed one after another, and the relationship lasted no more than a month. If you were here, you wouldn't like him, right?"

Thinking of that scene, Jian Ximan smiled softly, and then continued to speak, quite a bit like complaining.

"But he always pesters me, like a scoundrel who can't drive me away. He will block me when I get off work, take me to dinner without my consent, and he will come uninvited.

He barged into my house in a domineering manner, saying he wanted to eat and drink with me, but you don’t even know that he has thousands of ways to pester people."

Speaking of this, Jian Ximan didn't know what she thought of, the smile on her lips faded, and her eyes were filled with a sad look.

"I have spent many lonely New Years. The lights and bustling scenes outside the window have nothing to do with me. Only this year is different. He spent it with me.

I admit, I was tempted at that moment, not because I liked it, but just because I was greedy for the excitement and companionship at that moment."

Since her mother and grandfather left, her impression of the New Year, apart from Jian Hongyi's happy family of three, was only an empty house and her sitting on the sofa in a daze.

Every New Year when she left Yuncheng, she could see through the floor-to-ceiling windows that people across the street were busy making dumplings, talking and laughing, and she was so happy.

That moment was the moment when she missed her mother the most.

She always thought that if her mother was still alive, she would be very happy.

It's not that Xixi hasn't invited her to celebrate the New Year at Ning's house, but she didn't want to go back to Yuncheng, so she refused.

But this year was different. Zhu Xunjing broke into her home with a box of wine and Yan Chenyu, which instantly made her apartment more smoky.

That was the first time that she didn't hate this playboy, but was grateful for his appearance.

Thank him for spending a different New Year with her and making her feel the excitement of the New Year.

Having said this, soreness rose up in her throat. Jian Ximan took a long breath, suppressed the choking in her voice, and smiled lightly.

"Later on, I just let nature take its course, enjoying his kindness, but deliberately keeping a distance from him and not giving him any hope."

"Doesn't it sound like a scumbag? If you were here, you would scold me bloody."

Jian Ximan teased herself, the smile in her eyes gradually dissipated and became covered with a layer of dust, covering the sadness and inferiority in her eyes.

"But I dare not give him hope. He is a proud man, a dragon and a phoenix among people, and the future heir of the Zhu family. He can give me glory and wealth, companionship and sincerity, as well as care and love. He will give me all he can give me."

Everything was given to me, but I couldn’t give anything..."

As she spoke, her eyes gradually turned red, and tears welled up in her eyes, but she still smiled to prevent the tears from falling.

"So yesterday I said some very unpleasant things, and he was finally willing to give up on me. In the end, he went round and round, but I was still the only one left."

Endless grievances came to her in an instant, and Jian Ximan finally couldn't hold herself any longer, her head buried between her legs, and her tears fell down.

She was like a little girl who finally returned to her mother's arms, taking off her strong disguise and pouring out her thoughts.

The cold rain wet her clothes and hair, and her little figure looked even more lonely and embarrassed in the huge cemetery.

When she had cried enough, Jian Ximan tilted her head and leaned against Mrs. Jian's tombstone, as if this would bring her closer to her mother.

"Mom, Grandpa, it would be great if you were still by my side."

In that case, she and Zhu Chongjing would be completely different.
Chapter completed!