Chapter 99 99: [Appearance comes first] I am so kind

【October 16, 2015.

Thursday.

cloudy day.

I saw the girl chasing him walking with him today. It turns out that she is also in this school.

She is beautiful again, tall and thin.

I worked very hard to lose weight. I didn't eat dinner for a week and only drank water, but I gained three pounds.

The boy at the front desk always laughed at me for being as dark as coal. His deskmate said not to laugh at me all the time. What if I gave birth to a daughter as dark as this?

I hate them so much!!

Obviously I am just as black!!

When I got home today, my mother told me, you see your face is all dirty and oily, can't you wash your face well?

I'm so sad. I wash my face seriously, but I don't know why it's oily. It's not that I'm dirty, I'm really not dirty!!

I looked at myself in the mirror today. I was really ugly. How could anyone be so embarrassed? I originally wanted to scratch my face with a knife so that I wouldn’t have to look at it anymore, but I didn’t have the courage...

It would be great if I could become more beautiful. Then, would he look at me more? 】

【December 31, 2015.

Thursday.

cloudy day.

Why?

My mother always told me that I am already 116 years old and I must lose weight and control my weight, otherwise I will regret it in the future.

Dad always talks about how to lose weight and why she is fat. I always feel that Dad loves me very much.

But when I was soaking my feet yesterday, he saw me and called my mother over with a wild smile and said, why are your daughter’s ankles so thick?

My mom said, so I told her to lose weight.

They said and left, and I was alone there, looking down at the water.

I don’t want to be so fat either. I have tried very hard to lose weight, but my weight keeps increasing.

The most outrageous thing is that in front of so many relatives today, I put my hand on the armrest of the sofa, and my father suddenly pinched the flesh on the back of my hand and lifted my hand up.

He said, look at your meat!

Everyone is laughing.

What's so funny?

It would be great if you could use a knife to cut off the excess meat!!!

I want to be beautiful, I want to be thin, I want to be white! I don’t want to look like this anymore!!!]

Bai Cha pursed her lips.

It seems that this diary should be related to the origin of this world.

This deformed and over-aesthetic world must have a source.

Maybe she is the owner of the diary, but is the diary directly in her hand? Does every player have it?

If that's the case...will it be Li Qiyao?

A person who never appears in reality, but everyone thinks she is a goddess.

She has the whole world's love and attention.

So far in this copy, the clues are all too obvious.

Bai Cha flipped through a few more pages.

【June 9, 2016.

Thursday.

cloudy day.

The college entrance examination is over, and I have been lying here all day.

I must have failed the college entrance examination because I was malnourished. I finally lost weight, but my college entrance examination was also ruined.

He must have done very well in exams, he was always in the top 20 in school.

I'm no longer good enough for him.

Maybe I should die.

Yeah, what’s the point of living? People like me shouldn’t waste air. People like me should have died long ago, and I shouldn’t have been born!!!]

【July 21, 2017.

Thursday.

cloudy day.

I cut my wrist again today.

It hurts too much. I don’t think the cut was deep enough. I don’t have the courage to cut it again. Each cut is shallower than the last. I should change my way of death.

I also want to live, but I really have had enough.

I don’t know who posted my high school photos, and a group of people laughed at me.

When I went out, a teenage boy bumped into me. His grandma lectured him and asked him to apologize to his aunt.

But I’m only 19.】

【March 29, 2018.

Thursday.

cloudy day.

I went to his school and he invited me to dinner.

He is still so gentle and sunny, treating everyone equally.

I specially wore my red coat, and I also applied powder, maybe it would make me a little whiter.

All in all everything is good.

It's just that I don't know why I want to have diarrhea. Maybe I'm too nervous.

Met his roommate on the road.

His roommate looked at me in shock, then looked at him teasingly.

"Who is this?"

He said: "My high school classmate."

His roommate laughed and said, "Then she also... likes you too much?"

He was a little embarrassed and said, "Let's go first."

The two of us left, and I heard the two roommates behind him laughing and saying, "Damn that girl, her face is painted like a ghost, she looks so ugly."

"Can you please keep your voice down? They haven't left yet."

My stomach seems to hurt more.

I told him as an excuse that I wanted to go to the toilet.

But I haven't brought any paper.

At that moment, I just felt that maybe I really should die.

I don't know why but I feel surprisingly calm.

I had no choice but to keep him waiting for me, so I endured my nausea, found some clean paper in the trash can next to me, and wiped it.

I feel like I'm getting more and more disgusting, like trash.

I left, but he still sent me away with a smile, and even told me that I saw your space and said you hated the college you went to, so go ahead, upgrade to a bachelor's degree and leave.

I cried for a long time after I went back.

He is so nice, but I am so disgusting, so disgusting, so disgusting——】

The last few words were written with such force that the paper was almost torn.

Turn one page further and it will be the last page.

【April 2, 2018.

Monday.

Sunny turning to cloudy.
To be continued...