Yi Wan had a dream.

In the dream, his name was not Yi Wan, but Shen Zhong. He was sitting in the small living room of Tongzilou. He had not changed his name, left his family, or joined a boy band. He was wearing a blue and white striped top. The house was very lively and there were people everywhere. There are uncles, aunts, cousins, and his mother and father whom he has not seen for many years. His noble mother looks very much like Yi Wan, while his father has a vaguely handsome face. There is also a picture on the TV screen in the small living room. Many people are talking about a boy group called "Hong" that has become popular recently. The boy group has five members, singing and dancing on the stage.

He lowered his head, wondering why his shirt and trousers were made of the same pattern of fabric. His aunt gently handed him the cake and said that today was his nineteenth birthday and he should eat more. His cousin was polite to him, but cautious. .His father has been on the phone, and his mother has been answering messages with her head down. This angered her aunt, and she took her uncle and went to the kitchen with his noble parents to talk with the door closed. Yi Wan abused the cake with a spoon, vaguely Hear the sound of them arguing.

"...You can't be taken out of the mental hospital until your nineteenth birthday..."

"...even if you each have a family, you can't leave Shen alone. He has been in a mental hospital for four years...a good friend committed suicide...schizophrenia, paranoia..."

"...I dreamed that I would go to high school and have a job."

"...You just threw him to me, you can't be so irresponsible, you guys."

The cake was battered, like a disemboweled, white brain. The surrounding screen was yellowish. Yi Wan looked up in panic and found a cheerful nursery rhyme playing on the TV.

"Somewhere, there is a very small dream. Although I don't know who dreamed it." (The following lyrics are excerpted from "Alice on the Human Pillar")

"This little dream thought:"

"I don't want to disappear like this. What should I do so that people keep looking at me?"

"[Just let humans get lost in dreams and let them create a world]"

Yi Wan looked up in horror. He saw five people on the TV stopping their spinning and looking directly at him on the screen. The first one was red, then blue, green, yellow...the fifth one was purple. Like the other four, they stared at him silently.

He saw clearly that the fifth person had his face!

Yi Wan started to cry. Someone held his face with both hands from behind. That was his cousin, no, those were Yu Rongshi's face and hands.

Yu Rongshi's voice was very gentle, as if her vocal cords could wear a perfect mask: "Shen Zhong, happy birthday, are you living a happy life?"

…

"...I still have a fever. It's been like this since I came back the night before yesterday."

Yi Wan huddled up in the messy quilt, eyes half open, motionless, with water hanging on the back of his hand. The boy with red hair took a thermometer from him, took a look at it and said: "38 degrees 4."

"It's lower than yesterday."

"Should we take him to the hospital?"

"No need. Just take medicine for another day and he will be fine. And Yi Wan doesn't want to go. Let him sleep for a while." Brother Liu said outside the door.

The four members looked at Yi Wan. For a day and a half, Yi Wan had maintained the same posture, huddled on the bed and not moving.

Yi Wan's illness was coming fiercely. Brother Liu opened a new room next to iris5 to accommodate him - to prevent the virus from spreading and affecting the roommates' rest. The doctor diagnosed that Yi Wan had caught a cold and had been "suffering from the cold." "My heart", I gave Yi Wan a few bags of medicine and started taking it. Brother Liu knew that AT artists were in a sub-healthy state all year round, so he didn't think much about it. It's just that Yi Wan's last scene will be in a week. Brother Liu I'm just worried that Yi Wan's illness will slow down the crew's progress.

"...I talked to Director Ye. He said that it's okay to postpone it for another two weeks, as long as you can recover from your illness." Chi Jixia sat on the sofa as if nothing happened, "You don't have to worry about your future schedule. We and the company

I said hello over there, everything is about you."

To put it lightly, all the efforts involved should not be underestimated. But Chi Jixia seemed to have a "not worth mentioning" attitude towards them.

Yi Wan was still in bed in a daze. Bo Jiang thought he would be like the previous few days, not saying a word.

He placed the prepared Ganmao Ling granules on Yi Wan's bedside, nodded to Chi Jixia, and motioned for him to go out with him - but Yi Wan spoke at this moment.

"...Won't it cause schedule conflicts? Those New Year's parties and the like." Yi Wan's voice was muffled in the quilt, "There are a lot of stages to be performed in January next year."

It’s not like AT doesn’t have a dark history of allowing members to perform while sick. Ji Jixia responded simply: “Your body is the most important thing.”

The conversation continued. Bo Jiang sat back in her seat. Chi Jixia asked Yi Wan: "Are you feeling better? Do you want to eat an apple?"

Yi Wan has no particular preference for anything, because apples are easy to carry, so he eats more apples. Chiyoshi peeled the fruit very skillfully. The blade of the knife scraped off a circle of red, and he said: "You have been having nightmares these days

Yeah?"

"Well……"

"I heard you crying all the time in your dream." Chi Jixia said. After that, he comforted Yi Wan, "After you recover, take a short vacation to meet... and have a good dream again."

Chi Jixia originally wanted to meet his family. But he suddenly realized that he had never heard Yi Wan mention his family. Just like Ding Bihan, whose parents had died, and himself, whose family was broken up, he had never mentioned his own.

Home.

He suddenly realized that this was unfair - it was unfair to Yi Wan. Yi Wan knew the painful past of each of them, but no one knew about Yi Wan's past. Because Yi Wan was always silent and never mentioned it.

"Did you dream about anything?" Bo Jiang asked Yi Wan.

"I sometimes feel that it is not up to us to decide what we look like. For example, as long as I input different memories and cover some parts of my brain, I can become another person. For example, if I cover up

I changed my preference for eating apples to liking carrots. If I write that I have been hurt by people in blue clothes, I will hate all people who like blue clothes, even if the new people in blue clothes have not hurt me." Yi Wan said angrily.

Said, "Even if you don't have superpowers, or don't even need any superpowers, this will still be the case. Nowadays, special effects technology is very advanced. If someone kidnaps me, ties me to a special effects studio, causes the stage to collapse, and a frame-up occurs, then the actors

They tied me into a room and told me the initiator of everything and the current situation I faced. They only needed to fake a few web pages, and I would believe it, and then start hating someone as they wished... We can't control ourselves at all.

It depends on who you become, right?"

Ding Biehan and An Yelin were silent. Bo Jiang frowned: "Can you say... something more realistic?"

He vaguely understood, but also couldn't understand.

"I mean, there is an invisible hand that has been creating information cocoons for us to determine our needs." Yi Wan's voice became softer and softer, "It's like big data user portraits. Maybe you just like to wear clothes at first.

Hanfu, you searched for Hanfu-related consultation on a certain social software. Then big data made a user portrait of you without authorization and classified you into a group of users who also have the behavior of "searching for Hanfu". This group of users likes to quarrel and curse.

, the time stickiness on the app is higher than that of users who just browse ordinary software. Then, it starts to push you Hanfu information, push information about TV series that people like to watch, star chasing information, and quarrels and conflicts.

information, and then you started to do this... You thought you just saw the information, you thought you were actively searching for the content you wanted to see. But in fact... you were locked in an information cocoon, imprisoned.

Getting tighter and tighter, pushed by big data, becoming what it considers to be a 'type of person'..."

"We have no control over who we become."

Yi Wan's final note was too soft. So soft that in the vast world of data, he was just an insignificant speck of dust.

Bo Jiang felt very ominous. He said softly: "Yi Wan, you sound scared."

It's also very painful.

Yi Wan said a few words in a low voice, but Bo Jiang didn't hear it clearly. He only heard the last sentence: "...Have I not given up enough?"

Even the soul will be taken away?

An Yelin said: "Yi Wan, you are sick now. When you get better, we will do what you want to do."

Yi Wan said: "I want to go to a world that is not so desperate..."

This sentence is as light as a sigh. The second sentence is like the most condensed and terrifying undertones revealed when the consciousness is blurred.

"I already don't want to endure it any longer."

He buried his head in the quilt and fell into a deep sleep. This dream was another dark dream. It was the same as the lonely nights he spent in the middle school dormitory, away from others, after becoming "Yi Wan".

It must be very painful.

A figure made of electronics looked at him silently in the darkness.

You also want to have a sweet dream, right?

Yi Wan didn't know that this time he was no longer alone when he fell asleep. Ding Biehan looked at him, An Yelin held his hand, and Bo Jiang used the electric kettle to boil new hot water. Even Chi

Ji Xia also tucked him in with a quilt.

Text messages from Yu Rong were displayed on the phone.

"But even if you know, you will lie in bed and pretend not to know. You will turn a deaf ear to the good intentions from the 'old world'."

In a daze, Yi Wan whispered her verdict in her dream.

Because you know the price of going to the new world.

…

When Yi Wan woke up again, he saw Chi Jixia sitting next to him.

Chi Jixia was curled up on the sofa next to him. The sunlight shone on his head, which was lowered slightly. His eyes were drooped, as if he was about to fall asleep. Seeing Yi Wan open his eyes, he said, "Are you awake?"

Then she waved her hand to him: "These are some fingers."

Yi Wan looked at him with his eyes open and said nothing. Chi Jixia waved his hand again and said, "Take your temperature?"

"Bo Jiang has a drama to go to the crew, and An Yelin and Ding Bihan are going to shoot a variety show, so I'm left to monitor you... Oh, it's 37 degrees 4, and the fever has gone down." Chi Jixia said, "I'm still in good spirits.

Bar?"

"Okay." Yi Wan answered very coldly and simply.

Chi Jixia felt something was wrong. He smiled and said, "Okay, you're awake. Are you hungry? I'll go downstairs and bring you a bowl of porridge."

Chi Jixia went out. There was quite a distance from Yi Wan's room to the hotel kitchen on the first floor. There was still water on the back of Yi Wan's hands, and his head was still dizzy. He leaned on the hospital bed and fell into a drowsy sleep. His cell phone was also there.

I did not see.

The door opened and someone came in.

For a while, Yi Wan felt something was wrong.

He opened his eyes and found that his muscles had lost strength. There was a nurse wearing a mask, standing in front of him, with an empty syringe in her hand. Behind her stood a middle-aged man who looked like a doctor.

The middle-aged man is about fifty or sixty years old, with gray hair and an old look.

Yi Wan stared at them, motionless. The nurse motioned the man to move Yi Wan to the wheelchair they brought. Yi Wan broke the glass bottle when she got out of bed. She asked Yi Wan to touch her waist.
To be continued...