This is the anti-theft chapter. The piracy is really amazing. Xiaoyu has to be careful. The data in this article is already bleak enough. In addition, the piracy... Tears... Please support the genuine version, so that Xiaoyu will have the motivation to continue writing. Xiaoyu doesn't want to abandon the article, and he will not abandon the article. It depends on your support from the genuine version. Thank you everyone. Here is a happy joke-

1. The principal and the English teacher visited a French middle school together. The principal spoke in the auditorium and the English teacher was a translator.

Principal: "Dear teachers and classmates!"

English teacher: "ladies and gentlemen!"

Principal: "Dear ladies and gentlemen!"

English teacher-_-! After thinking for a while, he said, "good morning!"

Principal: "Good morning!"

English teacher:... ==”Shan

2. It was said that there was a polar bear. Because the snow was too dazzling, he had to wear sunglasses to see things. But he couldn't find the sunglasses, so he crawled around on the ground with his eyes closed, climbing and crawling, and crawling with his hands and feet so dirty that he found the sunglasses. He put on the sunglasses and looked in the mirror, and then he realized: Oh, it turns out that I am a panda

3. A polar bear stayed alone on the ice and was in a daze. When he was really bored, he started to pull out his own hair to play. One, two, three, and finally he pulled out one of them, and then he was so cold that he died of cold.

4. Once upon a time there was a bird that passed through a corn field every day, but unfortunately, one day a fire broke out in that corn field, and all the corn turned into popcorn!!! After the bird flew over... he thought it was snowing, so he died of cold.

5. Xiao Ming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. When the classmates saw his new hairstyle, they smiled and said: Xiao Ming, your head shape looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged, so he ran outside and cried. As he cried, he flew up.

6. The spider fell in love with butterfly, but the butterfly refused it. The spider asked: Why? Why is this! Butterfly said: My mother said that those who are engaging in the Internet all day long are not good people.

7. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana in front suddenly felt very hot. He said, "It's so hot, I'm going to take off my clothes. As a result, he peeled off the skin. As a result, the banana behind fell. Then the banana that took off his clothes turned into dried bananas~

8. One day, three explorers finally found the "Gao of Hope". According to legend, as long as they stand by the valley and shout what they want, and then jump into the valley, they will get what they want. So the three of them decided to try it.

The first one was a pervert, so he shouted "Woman! Woman!" and jumped down, there were indeed beautiful women waiting for him.

The second one was a nerd, who shouted "Shu Shu Shu Shu Shu Shu!" Then he jumped into the valley and got books full of pits.

The third one is an indecisive person. He always can't decide his favorite. After an hour, he finally made up his mind and felt that money was the most useful, so he walked towards the edge of the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and scolded "shit!" Unexpectedly, a center of gravity was unstable and fell down the valley.

9. Xiao Ming, he will have an exam nest tomorrow, but he is watching TV at night

Xiao Ming's mother asked worriedly: Have you finished reading the books? I'll take the exam tomorrow

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20. There was a swordsman in the past. He was very cold, his heart was very cold, his sword was very cold, and he finally died of cold.

21. Once upon a time, a tiger chased a deer on the road! The deer was shocked and ran faster and faster, and finally turned into a highway.

22. There was a tomato that was mixed by a stone and fell, another tomato that broke and broke, and another tomato that broke and broke. Countless tomatoes that broke and broke. The last tomato that broke and broke, the last tomato that broke and broke, also fell, yes! Tomato sauce!

23. The soldier asked the company commander: What to do if he stepped on a landmine during combat? The company commander was very angry: Damn, what can he do? If he stepped on it, he would compensate him according to the price.

24. One day, in order to avoid the pursuit of the big bad wolf, three little pigs built three small houses. The big bad wolf destroyed the thatched house, wooden house, brick house, and three little pigs ran desperately, but they were still caught up by the big bad wolf. The three little pigs said desperately, "You can do whatever you want." We give up, do whatever you want." At this time, the big bad wolf smiled and said with saliva and said: Then tell me where is the little Red Riding Hood?"

25. The elephant lined up her feces in the middle of the road, and an ant happened to pass by. It looked up at the peak of the mist and couldn't help but sang: Oh, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!~~~

26. When you are a large size next to the railway but don’t bring paper, don’t worry, the train will remind you: wipe pants, wipe pants, wipe pants! When you are a large size by the river but don’t bring paper, don’t worry, the frog will tell you: scrape sticks, scrape sticks, scrape sticks!

27. Two counterfeit banknotes accidentally created counterfeit banknotes worth 15 yuan, and the two decided to take them to remote mountainous areas to spend them. When they bought a candied haws of 15 yuan, they cried and the farmers found them for two 7 yuan.

28. Someone’s newly-installed phone call happened to be a withdrawal from the cinema, so people often call to ask about the movies under the screening. At the beginning, he always explained kindly that the phone was no longer a cinema, but now it is his. Please don’t call again in the future. After a long time, he felt very annoyed, so he briefly said when he received such a call: “You called the wrong one!” This would save some saliva. One day, the other party heard a familiar voice: “What movie is being released now?” He said as usual: “You called the wrong one!” After a while of silence, the other party replied: “Is it a domestic or a foreign one?

29. He climbed the wall and was caught by the principal. The principal asked: Why don’t you walk through the school gate? He replied: Metersbonwe does not take the ordinary road. The principal asked again: How can you turn over such a high wall? He pointed to his pants and said: Li Ning, everything is possible.

The principal asked again: What does it feel like to climb over the wall? He pointed to his shoes and said: "That's a step, like flying. On the second day, he entered the school from the main entrance. The principal asked: Why don't he come over over the wall? He said: Anta, I choose, I like it. On the third day, he wore a gangster outfit, and the principal said: You can't wear a gangster outfit! He said: Whatever you wear is, Senma clothing. On the fourth day, he wore a vest to go to school, and the principal said, "You can't wear a vest to go to school. He said, "It's better for men, it's easy, I love to wear a gangster outfit. The principal said, I want to remember your worst. He said: Why? The principal said, "The dynamic area, I will make the decision on my territory."

30 Life is really boring. Last month, one of my buddies borrowed me 4,000 yuan and said they wanted to have a plastic surgery. But now I don’t know what he has become, oh 4,000 yuan.

31. Notes to robbers: The staff of this bank only knows Spanish. Please be patient when robbing. It is best to bring one translator. Thank you!

32. Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you just want to throw the stone at my head!

33. I think I should go to lose weight. When I donated blood last time, a hundred milliliters of lard flowed out.

34. Visitor: Master, is the grass house over there a toilet? Monk: Except for that grass house, the rest of the place is a toilet.

35. The hair is gone without a trace, and dandruff is more outstanding!

36. Defecation and urination are good brothers. One day, I was hit and killed by a car when I crossed the road. I urinated and said: I want to urinate so much...

37. Yesterday I signed up for a weight loss training class. They asked me to wear loose clothes during training. This is outrageous. If there are loose clothes, why should I sign up?

38. My wife and I haven’t spoken for 18 months, so I didn’t have the chance to interrupt her.

39. Thief A: Count how much money you robbed today? Thief B: No, you will know when you read the newspaper tomorrow.

40. Stand higher and urinate farther

41. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

42. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way, and let them find them.

43. One night, a young woman passed by a mental hospital, suddenly a "wow" sound came from behind. The woman turned her head and saw a naked man chasing her. The woman was so scared that she ran away, and the man behind her was chasing her. The woman was so desperate that she was chasing her. The woman was completely disappointed and knelt on the ground and cried and begged: "Do whatever you want, just ask you not to kill me." The man smiled sly and said: "Really? Then now you start chasing me."

44. A literary evening party, the host went on stage to report: Please enjoy: Xinjiang singing and dancing, lifting up your skull! The audience was silent and creepy!!! Cold~~~

45. If a tiger doesn’t have cats, you think I’m critically ill!

46. ​​If a person in our dormitory drinks too much, he will pee and then bring out a cold saying: If he drinks too much, he will be particularly drunk.

47. When I went to Li Ning with my sister to buy shoes, my sister said, "Miss, how much does this shoe cost per pound?"

48. When someone came to my aunt's house as a guest, I just entered the door. My aunt was about to go to the bathroom. She hurriedly greeted the guests and said, "You guys sit down, I'll pour you some tea in the bathroom!"

49. When I was in college, a classmate argued with me and was at a disadvantage. In a hurry, he slapped the table and stood up and shouted: You are talking nonsense, I am not stupid! I spit on you with a shit on your face

50. When I was a child, Ice Cream usually sold popsicles and ice creams on my bicycle. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: The new ice cream is hot. (I guess my aunt used to sell oil cakes and fried dough sticks)

51. My colleague was arguing with someone, and he said anxiously, "Do you think I grew up with a meal?" I kept wondering what he grew up with."

52. Once, KTV ordered a song, Yimming shouted loudly: Give me a song about "Double Jaylen" of Zhou's nunchao.

54. In summer, a giraffe met a rabbit. She showed off her neck proudly to the rabbit: Ah, little rabbit, do you know how good it is to have a long neck? Do you know how tender and sweet the leaves at the highest point are? Do you know how to drink water in summer? The refreshing water slowly passed by the neck. The rabbit looked at her and said one sentence: "Have you tried vomiting?"

55. Once my brother hit me, and it made me raise a bag on my head. Later, my brother wanted to put something on his body, but when he found the bag, he took the bag on my head to hold something.

56. Once upon a time, a marshmallow went to play the ball for a long time. He said: It's so tired, I feel like I'm weak.

57. There were two snowmen in the past. One of them said: I was so cold, the other said: I was very cold, and the other said: Let's hug each other, so they hugged each other. Guess what happened later? Later they were so cold.

58. When I was a child, I was not honest in my meal. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me: I have been suffering in 1960s. I have no food to eat. I never throw away the booger I pick out.

59. A rich man looked for a servant. The interview question was to go to the toilet. After the first few were finished, he came out without washing his hands. Therefore, the rich man sent them away and only one of them washed his hands. So the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found out that he had not washed his hands and came out. The rich man asked him why? The servant replied: "I brought toilet paper today..."

60. A man saw a store with a big discount and walked in. "What are you buying?" "I want to buy dog ​​food." "We have regulations, you must prove that you have a dog." "Where are such regulations?" "The price reduction products are like this." The man and the salesperson were grinding for a long time, but the salesperson still did not agree to sell it to him. The man had to go home and bring the dog, and then bought dog food. A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food. "Give me two boxes of it

Cat food." "We have regulations, you must prove that you have a cat." It was still the salesperson. The man was still rubbing with her for a long time and still had to go home to bring the cat to buy cat food. A few days later, the man came to the store with a large cardboard box that had a hole and found the salesperson. "What are you buying?" "You can tell if you put your hand in." The salesperson reached in: "What is it, sticky." "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."

61. Someone went to take his friend to visit his grandmother. When he was talking to his grandmother, his friend started eating the peanuts on the coffee table and finished eating all the peanuts. When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for your peanuts." Grandma responded and said, "Oh! Well! Alas! Since my teeth fell out, I can only suck off the chocolate on their outer layer. I'm old, cough...

62. Someone liked the dish "Spicy vermicelli". Once, he went to the restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish had been sold out. "Is it really sold out?" he asked disappointedly. "Sir, it's really sold out. Look, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table." The waiter replied. Following the waiter's instructions, the man saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's meal had almost eaten, but the "Spicy vermicellilililili" was still full. The man thought the gentleman was a waste of delicious food, so he walked to the gentleman.

Next to him, he pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and asked politely: "Sir, do you still want this?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and swallowed it. The wind swept the clouds and half of them were eaten. Suddenly he found a very small mouse lying on the bottom of the casserole. After a wave of disgust, the man spitted all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he was having stomach up there, the gentleman looked at him with sympathy and said, "Is it really disgusting, right? I was like this just now..."

63. On that day, the hotel owner was inspecting the hall. A beggar came forward and said, "Can you give me a toothpick?" The boss sent him one to him. After a while, another beggar came to ask for toothpicks. The boss thought, why did this beggar not want to eat and change to toothpicks? He also sent him away one to him. It was not too old, and another beggar came. The boss said to him, "Are you here to ask for toothpicks?" The beggar said, "Someone vomited, but I was one step late, and I had eaten all the food by the two beggars in front of me, and now there is only soup left. Can you give me a straw?

64. The eldest and the second child were on the plane. The second child was airsick and vomited constantly. The bag was full, so the eldest had to go to get the bag. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting constantly. The eldest asked the reason and said, "I saw that the bag was full, so I had to drink half of the bag again, and they vomited all."

65. A priest was playing golf, and a nun was watching. The first shot missed. The priest scolded: "tmd, missed!" and the priest scolded: "tmd, missed!" and the priest scolded: "tmd, missed again!" and the nun said: "You are the priest who swears, God wants to punish him." As soon as he finished speaking, a thunder struck the nun to death. The priest wondered: Why is it me who scolds me, why did he kill the nun? At this time, God's voice came from the sky: "tmd, I missed too!"

66. The head coaches of the Chinese, Japanese and Korean football teams came to heaven together and asked God when their respective football teams would win the World Cup. God said: It will take 50 years for South Korea. The Korean coach cried: I can't see it. God said: It will take 100 years for Japan. The Japanese coach cried: I can't see it. The Chinese coach hurriedly asked: Where are we? God cried: I can't see it.

67. Three little white rabbits picked a mushroom

Let the two big ones get some wild vegetables together

The younger one said I won't go, I'll leave, you'll eat my mushrooms

Two big ones said, no, don't worry, go and go, so the little white rabbit went~~~

Half a year has passed, the little white rabbit has not come back, one big one says it won't come back, my door to eat, the other big one says, wait~~~ A year has passed, the little white rabbit has not come back, the two big ones discuss, there is no need to wait, let's eat. Just then, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the jungle next to him, and said angrily, look! I knew you were going to eat my mushrooms

68. We say that a bear without a tail is called a koala, so what is the bear without a little cock? The answer is a female bear, because the female bear does not have a little cock.

69. In music class, the teacher played a song by Beethoven

Xiao Ming asked Xiaohua: "Do you understand music?"

Xiaohua: "Yes"

Xiao Ming: "Then do you know what the teacher is playing?"

Xiaohua: "Piano."

70. Once upon a time, someone caught a fishing squid.

Squid beg him: You let me go, don't roast me for food.

The man said: OK, then I'll ask you a few questions.

Squid said happily: You take the exam, you take the exam!

Then the man roasted the squid

71. Xiao Ming lost a leg in a car accident.

Xiao Ming lost another leg in a car accident

In another car accident, Xiao Ming lost his other leg

Xiao Ming lost one of his legs in a car accident

It screamed in pain and shouted~~~~~ It was very pitiful

Actually, Xiao Ming is a dog

72. One day, a piece of black stool saw a piece of white stool.

He asked in black stool: Why do you look so white and beautiful?

Bai Dao was very angry when he heard this!
Chapter completed!